sarah hyland

fffcuk:

if you are cute and pay attention to me i will probably fall in love with you within 15 minutes

bluebeanze:

friendship is so weird???

Like it starts out with compliments and cute things and then suddenly it does a complete 360 and you just start screaming at them and calling them motherfucker

cumillionaire:

If my jokes offend you:

1. I’m sorry
2. It won’t happen again
3. 1 & 2 are lies 
4. You’re a pussy

do you ever just wanna kiss your boyfriend but realize you don’t have one

jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home

alltimeboners:

things that are enjoyable:

• showers

things that are not enjoyable:

• getting in the shower
• getting out of the shower

swiftingthrough:

cloudy with a chance of why the fuck am i outside

meladoodle:

*prosecuting lawyer voice* i have only one question for the defendant… ‘guiltypersonsayswhat?’
“what?” 
haha owned you’re going to jail